apparently I am the bitch of the guild.. and I didn't even know it.

This amuses me to no end.

If you loved me.. you would take me.

"Getting right to the point, we're going to play a handful of shows in NYC, Chicago and LA starting August 22nd. They will be informal affairs in medium to small venues with longer set-lists, possible special guests, cool openers and other surprises. Upon reflection, the NIN/JA tour felt like we had to rush through sets due to a limited allotted set length and many shows were in daylight - it just didn't feel right to end NIN that way. An offer to headline V-Fest in Toronto (being announced soon) set the idea in motion to play some FUN shows to end this up with. If we can get it together we'll film these shows, too.In NYC we'll be playing Bowery Ballroom, Webster Hall and Terminal 5. In Chicago, the Aragon Ballroom. In LA we'll be at The Wiltern, The Henry Fonda, The Palladium and The Echoplex. These should be cool, unusual and unique shows and I hope you come out - this is it.So far, The Horrors will be joining us for some shows in NYC, Mew will be with us at other shows in NYC, Chicago and LA, and perhaps more.Details and ticket info will be announced shortly, so check back.Thanks,Trent"

Soo I think I'm allergic to the pills the put me on to lower my uric acid...awesome.

I haven't been feeling well the past few days and since I went to to doctor and they ruled out the option of bacteria in my blood I think I know what it is...but I don't want to deal with it.

Not just because I hate the dentist.. and it scares the shit out of me.. but because it's a lot of hassle and I don't have any reliable sources of transportation.
Why don't I? Well lets see.. My father left for I dunno something like two weeks on vacation to do gold mining with out telling me...my brother even though he has a car.. if I ask for any sort of ride would rather give me money for a cab then take the few minutes of his day to help me get shit done...my mother.. LIVES IN FUCKING SEDONA! -_-;

But really it can't be that much trouble can it? Of course it can.. cause with me there is always something..

Lets see.. I think the gum's around my wisdom tooth might have an infection..so I'll call the dentist make an appointment to get it checked...that will then lead to needing antibiotics...so I will have to go to the pharmacy.. take those for like a week or something..which will of course effect the level of my blood thinners soo then I must get my blood checked at least once.. and then back to the dentist.. then of course back to the pharmacy for pain meds...once again blood checking cause those interact as well.. Not so bad sounding right?

But see that's not all... I have lady doctors appointment coming up.. an appointment to renew my food stamps application...and on top of that in a few weeks here they are gonna want me to try this new drug and take it the first time in the clinic.. soo it will be back to the doctors.. and I'm sure more blood testing!!

I don't want to deal with any of it.. I don't want to make appointments and then struggle to find a way there.. I don't want to dump it all on Laura cause she will just stress the fuck out about me getting it done..which she shouldn't have to do because she's not my mother.. not even my family..and she has her own things to worry about.

Maybe it's unfair but I mostly blame my mother. She moved all the way to Arizona a retarded ass time ago and now she calls all concerned to see how things went at my doctors appointments and gets mad when my brother and dad aren't there to help. Excuse me but HELLO...they have helped.. more than she has at least, and if she's so fucking angry and worried why the fuck isn't she here?

I'm losing so much patience with her. I understand that moving is hard and it scares her to have to start over.. but that didn't stop her from moving there in the first place and she didn't even have a reason to move there or family in Arizona.


On a side note.. this is not me asking for help..if you know me you know I hate asking for help. lol

I went to the doctors yesterday and found out some interesting stuff.
Apparently when he did the MRI a while back it showed that not only do I have a HUGE heart (which is actually fairly obvious) but my liver is in the wrong spot and I have multiple spleens. I dunno about you.. but I think that's fucking cool. Now I keep trying to bribe people with a spleen.

Also they want to put me on two new medications. One will lower the blood pressure in my lungs. See your heart sends the blood in one chamber to the lungs and the other chamber to the body but mine just kinda sends blood every where. So hopefully this will help make me feel a bit better. He said you can only get it at like three pharmacy's in the nation..so he has to order it and then I'm gonna take my first couple of doses at the clinic so that they can monitor my stats. The other medication is because my uric acid is too high which can cause gout and may be the reason my right leg has been swelling up and hurting for no reason at all.

My body is fucking weird...
but it's kinda cool.

Just like that everything is fucked up again.
I dont wanna talk about it or write about it..
I just wanna be left alone.

So I am seeing Nine Inch Nails twice while I am here in AZ.
We are going down to Phoenix today to see them and then heading to California to see them in Chula Vista.
I'm not sure how I feel about NIN playing before Janes Addiction..it's gonna be weird..but they have been playing some songs that they have never played live soo OMG!! I can't wait to see what they play.
My mom wants to switch my ticket and keep me in California a little longer. I told her we should just follow NIN all the way to the gorge.. wouldn't that be a dream?
But ya know I'd probably pass it up to go to Virgina...why? Cause I'm totally head over heels for a boy there. I know I know.. it's stupid and I've never even met him.. but hello I'm saying I would give up NIN shows to meet him.. that's gotta say something right? I can't explain it.. and I'm not gonna try.

I wake up every evening with a big smile on my face
And it never feels out of place
And you're still probably working at a 9 to 5 pace
I wonder how bad that tastes

When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell

Now where's your picket fence, love?
And where's that shiny car?
And did it ever get you far?
You never seemed so tense, love
I've never seen you fall so hard
Do you know where you are?

And truth be told I miss you
And truth be told I'm lying

When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell

If you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well
Then he's a fool, you're just as well, hope it gives you hell
I hope it gives you hell

Tomorrow you'll be thinking to yourself
Yeah, where did it all go wrong?
But the list goes on and on

Truth be told I miss you
And truth be told I'm lying

When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell

If you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well
Then he's a fool, you're just as well, hope it gives you hell

Now you'll never see what you've done to me
You can take back your memories, they're no good to me
And here's all your lies, you can look me in the eyes
With the sad, sad look that you wear so well

When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell

If you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well
Then he's a fool, you're just as well, hope it gives you hell

When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell
(Hope it gives you hell)
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell
(Hope it gives you hell)

When you hear this song and you sing along, well you'll never tell
And you're the fool, I'm just as well, hope it gives you hell
When you hear this song I hope that it will give you hell
You can sing along, I hope that it puts you through hell

Secretly.. I wanted him to prove me wrong, convince me it could work and that everything will be fine.

Brian is sooo much like him. It scares me.

So I'm going to phoenix to see NIN there with my mom and her awesome neighbor.
I am also hoping to see them at sasquatch with Sonnet. She says she wants to go but I gotta talk to her more about it.

I must see them as much as I can this last tour.

The Watchmen was good. I wanna see it again.

Pets I have:
http://www.warcraftpets.com/account/profile.asp?user=silenti#col

Kinda close to 75 and the next achievement...eventually I'll get it.

Mounts I have:
http://www.bennlinger.com/mounts/view.php?q=55555AAA554AAAA00300400100000082010801501C

Very close to the 50 mounts achievement. I am working on the pvp mounts, as well as the netherwing rep and once I get enough gold I can buy all the windriders and talbuks..

I know.. shut up.

So the other night when we went out for Mindy and Daves birthdays, I did something I dont normally do. I talked to someone I didn't know! Yay me right? Except he ended up being some bi-polar guy that had fallen in love with a 13 year old over myspace and now he's not allowed to talk to her. Right...awesome.. I pick the one crazy person.

Tonight.. I convince myself something equally not me.. something that I had to talk myself into doing, that made my heart pound.. how did it end up going? Well.. just as bad!

Why do I even bother?

And my imagination goes wild...

So after killing things four two hours to get the stupid distress beacon in the hinterlands so I could get the robot chicken pet I turn it in only to realize I must have never done the one in Feralas when I was leveling though I swear I remember it! Bah

I need moar pets! Or rather Silenti needs moar pets.

soooon I will has it though.


ok that was geeky I'm done.

I met you on friendster, your name was all weird, I feared the worst but the more I learned it all became clear, you were a female peer, just a few years younger than I, and you wrote the longest letters, the very best size.

You live in London, used slang like prat, you were dating the gym when it came to tight abs, I’d spend the days half, trying to make you laugh, you would and write back give me some more of that, well after one week, I knew I was hooked, you'd blush at each key stroke of X O, without getting one look at the other side guy his pics might be fake, this type of shit happens every day.

I’m no rock star, a clock watching drone, who's breath stinks of liquor, all stoned like lawn gnomes. No girlfriend, no hook ups, just lovelorn and fucked up, no friend to just vent on, one who'll, say all bets off. concert was cancelled, you answered my email. Turns out you're bummed out didn’t want to give details. A mate had od'd, I could feel your heart beat. I miss you never met you, X O M C.

Boys don't cry, they prefer ballin' and shot callin. Teardrops fallin', I’m jonesin' harder than gollum, please god say that's London callin.

why ya gotta be so far away, why do plane tickets gotta cost an arm and a leg, maybe i should save a couple dollars a day, so without delay, i can look at your face, smell your hair, rest my hand on your neck, never mind neckin, you know that comes next I’ll buy you a dress at that place owned by dodi fayed. give ya head every night before bed.

but you might not D I G M C, might think me too brash or condescending, a sad finish without taking a first step, can't avoid saying something that I will regret but I bet that we would hit off great I could come to you, or you could come to the states, get you a job at mtv, whatever you need, I’m a slave 4 u like Britney was for jt. romance is a cruel trick. playin me like school kids, don't know if I should do this, if i'm stupid or just foolish, can't help but (pursue) this, despite you being half a world from me, what I wouldn't give to sit and sip a cup of tea, while you nibbled on a crumpet, I’d love it indeed, sincerely yours, X O M C.


Boys don't cry, they prefer ballin' and shot callin. Teardrops fallin', I’m jonesin' harder than gollum, please god say that's London callin.